I fall in style. ;)

When I was seven years old or so I was discovering that a lot of the kids in my neighborhood were trying to ride their bikes one-handed. As in only one hand on the handle bars, only ONE! It was awesome, and I just had to figure out how to do it, I had to. I’d already learned how to ride a bike without training wheels ages ago, pfffft that was childs play, I was doing much more mature things like learning how to ride on pegs and one-handed. Oh yes, I was going to be pretty amazing. So I asked my friend if I could borrow her bike, it was the coolest bike I’d ever seen. It was blue with a little white basket on the front and a bell on the handle bars and it even sparkled if the sun caught it at the right angle. I was definitely going to learn how to ride one-handed, and I decided that I might as well do it in style. She was more than willing to share her bike with me, plus it was for a good cause. I was learning how to ride one-handed, what could be more important than that??? Maybe nothing except for riding no hands, but only the really crazy dare devils in the neighborhood did that and they were not seven years old, they were ten years or older. They were the big kids, and we left the crazy life threatening stuff to them. I knew though that I was going to master the art of riding one-handed, I just knew it. So one beautiful summer afternoon I went outside and put on my helmet which was slightly too big for me, but it was going to have to do for the time being because I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of me learning to ride one-handed. So after I’d strapped on my helmet I mounted the bike, like a proud soldier mounting a horse. I put on a brave and determined look on my face, I was going to stay cool, not let any of the kids that had gathered in the parking lot to watch this see that I was scared. I put my hands on the handle bars and had one last look around the crowd of seven-year olds and I saw the friend who had let me borrow her bike and she smiled encouragingly and gave me the thumbs up. I of course being much too calm and collected and focused on the task at hand just nodded politely to her. I pressed my feet on the pedals and I was off, I was still riding with both of my hands on the handle bars, but not for long. I’d soon show all of those kids how cool and experienced I was. So I did a few circles with both hands on the wheel, then the time had come. I lifted my right hand from the handle bars and I kept going smoothly and steadily. “HA!” I said to everyone “Look at me, I’m only using one hand, you jealous?” They smiled fake smiles, but I knew deep inside that they were jealous of my awesome biking skills. So I rode around for a bit with just the one hand on the handle bars and then came back, I didn’t want to make the kids in the neighborhood feel too terribly bad for what I could do and they probably couldn’t. I wasn’t cruel. Well one of the boys in the crowd of kids was a big bully, so he said “pfffft that’s nothing, I learned how to ride one-handed like five weeks ago, its olddddddd news.” and I not wanting a tarnish on my cool kid reputation stupidly said “Oh yeah?? Well I bet you can’t ride no-handed, but I can.” and with an evil smirk on his face the boy said “well boys and girls I think she’s just making it up so lets see if she can really do what she says she can, hmm??”. Just then my sister (Tess) came outside to play and she saw all the kids in the parking lot grouped in a circle around me and the bully boy. She walked over and easily made her way through the crowd, now I say easily because she was about a head taller than all of the other kids, myself included. “What are you guys doing??” Tess asked “I’m going to ride no-handed” I said quickly and then sped off before she could stop me. I heard her shout “NO, DON’T DO IT!!! I’M TELLING MOM ON YOU, HEYYYY LISTEN TO ME!!!! YOU HAVE TO LISTEN!!! ugh MMMMMOOOMMMMM!” So I rode around the parking lot with my old news one-handed biking skills and then I mustered every bit of courage I had and took both of my hands off the handle bars. First the right then the left. Yes, yes I was doing it!!! I was riding no-handed!! Well readers I rode no-handed for a grand total of about 10 seconds then I ran over something in the parking lot. It was a stick, a tiny little pathetic stick. Well that tiny little pathetic stick lodged itself in the front tire spokes and.. the end result was the bike flipping over and launching me off of it onto the hard pavement. I wasn’t hurt at all, I was just startled and had the wind knocked out of me when I hit the ground. I was kinda dizzy and had slightly blurred vision for a few seconds, but I could see just enough to make out a fast-moving, clothing mismatched girl with fiery red hair racing towards me at an inhumanly fast pace. Before I know it the mismatched girl came into focus and I saw that it was my sister Tess. She got down on her knees and scooped me up the way a shovel eagerly scoops up winter snow to carry it safely away from the street or drive way it has chosen to inhabit. By then I could breathe just fine and my vision wasn’t blurry what so ever, and it was more than a little embarrassing to have my older sister cuddling me like a newborn child. “Get off, get off me you big weirdo, letttttt me goooooooo” at this time Tess felt it was necessary to rock me back and forth and “soothingly” say “it’s ok, its o k we’ll getcha in to Mommy, just hold onto me its o k.” I wasn’t a violent child mind you, but at this time I wanted to aim a nice punch straight to her kisser. I squirmed and squirmed and squirmed for what seemed like an eternity and finally I was free of her grasp. Greattttt now I had to face all of the kids in the neighborhood. They had all formed another circle around me right when I landed on the ground. I stood up and readied myself for their insults that I thought were inevitably coming. Bully boy was first to speak. “That was..” I winced waiting for his words as he took a dramatic pause, “AWESOME!!” I couldn’t believe his words, had he not been in the same parking lot as my crazy over protective sister?? “Yep you are cool, oh and that’ll make a gnarly scar by the way” he said pointing at my knee. “wha??” I said looking down and for the first time I saw my knee. I’d skinned it pretty bad and it was bleeding quite a bit through my torn pants. “Heh ok guys well I’d better go clean it up, see you all later” Much too my sadness my mom made me throw out the both very dirty and very shredded jeans when I came inside to have her inspect my knee. After she’d looked it over she said one of the worst sentences that a mom could possibly utter “we’d better go put some peroxide on it mk?” “AHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOT PEROXIDE NOO! TAKE THE JEANS I DONT CARE, TAKE ANYTHING JUST NOT PEROXIDE !!!” Mom smiled at my ridiculous ranting and said “hmm as tempting as that is you still need to have this cleaned out so you might as well come on and get it over with quickly.” Well readers my Mom managed to clean up my knee and bandage it up without me dying from the pain, and bully boy was quite right, I still have a “gnarly scar” on my knee. Looking back on this memory I think pfffff those kids may have learned how to ride one-handed and no-handed, but none of them could fall off a bike quite as good as I did. =)